Palagi Olympics

We had a dream. A dream to combine sport, beer and a celebration of U.S. presidents. That dream came true in the form of the 2007 Island of the Sacred Chicken Special Olympics (a non-race based community extravaganza) during the weekend of president's day.Day One started with the selection of nations. A MacGyver concoction of ping pong balls, Velcro and a pitcher assisted in the selection of competitors for each nation. Once the members were selected, they chose nation names. AomaSalandia, Sofa King Republic, and the fifth grade humor nations of Buttswana and YourAnus were represented in the games. The first event was a Goodwill Sloshball match between AomaSalandia and Sofa King Republic versus Buttswana and YourAnus. For those new to the Sacred Chicken Games, sloshball is a simple game in theory, but a complex one in practice. It is based on America's pastime, but combines the role of the athlete and the drunken fan into one with a pretty cool backdrop. The rules are like baseball, but the house is a ground rule double.The major difference is second base. If one makes it to second base, it is necessary to take a beer. You may not drop that beer until it is finished. This includes times when you are batting or in the field. Special props to Ruth for getting numerous hits while holding a beer and a cigarette, that is true athleticism. If you still have that first beer, and get on second base again, well, now you have two beers. We also tend to take longer seven inning stretches. Aoma/Sofa King started with an early lead, but due to the numerous times we went past second base that inning, our fielding suffered. After a seesaw game, the Aoma/Sofa King team was victorious. Luckily, that ended Day One.
Day two started with a Flip Cup tournament. Four athletes line up to the table. At the go mark, the first person in line must chug a half a cup of beer (some were larger than others).Once the beverage is consumed, the athlete must place the cup right side up on the edge of the table and "flip the cup" to drinking side down. Once the cup is properly flipped, the next athlete begins to consume the frosty beverage. AomaSalandia easily took the gold medal and set a new Sacred Chicken record. It was to be our first and only gold medal at these games.
The next event was a three legged race, from Point A to Point Beer and then back. A bit of controversy arose due to allegations of not finishing the beer at Point Beer. All disputes during the games were settled by Rock, Scissors, Paper, best of five format. AomaSalandia did not place, and lost the challenge, so I did not really pay attention to who won what medals in that one.
Astronaut Training was the third event. Another relay, in which one team member runs a couple of yards, then grabs a bat, circles five times around the bat and then runs back to the starting point. At one point we were a bit worried for Emily running into traffic when she crossed the entire length of the field, but she made it home safe.
The fourth event was Washoes. A Randy "tu-pac" Nicholson original event. The game field is comprised of two wooden boxes with three holes in each of them. Each athlete attempts to throw the Olympic disk (a washer) into one of the holes. The closest hole is one point, three points for the middle one and five points for the furthest hole. First one to 21, without going over, wins. Unlike the Price is Right, you don't automatically lose, but go back down to ten points. Each nation entered two teams into a bracket elimination, I am not sure how it all worked, but it was written down somewhere.
The fifth event was Beer Pong. Six cups, with some beer in them, are set up at either end of the table. Two members of a nation complete against another two member nation team. One at a time, the athletes attempt to throw a ping pong ball into one of the cups. If successful, the opposing team must finish the cup of beer and remove the cup from the playing field. Local rules allowed for the bouncing of balls into the cups, which is not followed in Chicago or the basement of the Sigma Chi house at GW. The first team to get a ball into each of the six cups wins. It takes a minute to learn, but a lifetime to master.
The final event was the Pisupo Eating Contest. A unique event at the Sacred Chicken games due to the nature of Pisupo. Cue the Bob Costas athlete profile music. As legend as it, the first canned good to arrive in Am. Sam. was Pea Soup - or Pisupo. The Samoans loved it. However, the next can to arrive was corned beef. The Samoans loved that even better, but decided to keep the name Pisupo for corned beef. Makes sense to me. Over the years, Pisupo has been refined into a mixture of meat, grizzle and congealed fat. Delicious. Each athlete had to finish 7.5 ounces of the delightful treat. Fork (and vomit) was optional. We finally made it to the award ceremony. At least Ed the Dog remained interested in the closing ceremonies. In the end, Sofa King Republic was crowned the champion. Nice going guys. Start training for the 2008 games.